Once while addressing an open air meeting, an atheist asked Bishop Carpenter if he believed that Jonah was swallowed by the whale. “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah,” said his lordship.

“But supposing,” the other persisted, “he is not there.”

“Then you will have to ask him,” was the quick retort.

"Atheists are people who don’t believe in God. I don’t think there are any in my hometown. At least there aren’t any who come to our church."

Danny Dutton (age 8) - “How to Explain God”

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah’s Witness?
A person who knocks on your door for absolutely no reason at all.

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that humans had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell God so.

The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve decided that we no longer need you; We’re to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don’t You just go on and get lost.”

God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said, “Very well, how about this? Let’s say we have a man-making contest.” To which the scientist replied, “Okay, great!”

“But,” God added, “we’re going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam.”

The scientist said, “Sure, no problem” and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God looked at him and said, “No, no, no. You go get your own dirt.”

(Chicago, IL) A federal court of appeals has ruled in favor of an inmate who claimed that Wisconsin prison officials violated his rights under the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment because they refused to allow him to create a study group for atheists.

The Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that prison officials erred because they “did not treat atheism as a ‘religion.’” “Atheism,” said the court, “is [the inmate’s] religion, and the group that he wanted to start was religious in nature even though it expressly rejects a belief in a supreme being.”

…The Supreme Court has said that a religion need not be based on a belief in the existence of a supreme being. In the 1961 case of Torcaso v. Watkins, the Court described “secular humanism” as a religion.

Hooks, Kathryn. Court Says Atheism is a Religion
August 19, 2005. American Family Association – Center for Law and Policy Press Release